Latter Days, Lonely Nights
by willownut
Summary: Willow and Tara meet in an unusual place, no monsters, or Hellmouth, but they do have demons of their own.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Latter Days / Lonely Nights**

Author: Willownut

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah. Many characters are Joss Whedon's. Yada, yada, yada. No harm intended with the use of these revered characters. Peas and carrots, peas and carrots. _Italics are thoughts. _For those who could excommunicate me or send me unwanted literature, I wish you no ill will.

Author's note: Think 1984 (not the book, the Era). Willow and Tara meet in an unusual place, no monsters, or Hellmouth, but they do have demons of their own.

CHAPTER 1 - RED DAWN (Day 1-Thursday, November 8, 1984) 

The building seemed enormous; actually, at this moment, just the door in front of her appeared too big. She thought to herself: _It's like one of the Alice in Wonderland moments where things just feel distorted somehow – like you're looking in a mirror that makes things closer than they appear - only - not_. This was an "in your face" large door. She was nervous; her hands were sweating. _Come on girl. Get a grip. It's a regular size door. _

Eighteen months was such a long time to be away from home, family, friends, and secure surroundings, like the mall and all the sugary goodness one could buy there. Eighteen months, no mochas, it was just unreal.

The excitement though outweighed her weak moment and drowned out the thoughts of the chocolatey sacrifices yet to come. All roads led to this place, a new beginning like so many others. This was a pilgrimage of the soul.

It felt like only yesterday she'd opened the envelope that had led her to this place.

Amy, her sorority friend, had been so supportive. Her sister was going through the same preparations readying for her own adventure. She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding, carefully unfolded the flap on the letter, and scanned over the words not really seeing anything until she reached one very small but overwhelming word.

Japan.

Japan.

Another breath exhaled and she read it again.

Kobe, Japan.

Her fingers trembled as she read back from the beginning over the words to the next very important piece of information. … November 8.

She was supposed to arrive on November 8th, then there would be two months of language study, and then she was going to fly off to Japan. It was such a little word.

_Oh. My. Gosh!_ She started to panic. There was just so much to do. November was only about three weeks away. That's when she heard the screaming. She was screaming, Amy was screaming, and there they were all screaming. _Ok wait. Breathe. I knew I might go somewhere far. I can do this. But, what if I can't? _All of her insecurities were bubbling up. She felt her knees weaken and buckle. Next, she found herself on the floor. The moment blurred as the lack of oxygen started to take its toll.

_I'm back _she thought to herself as she tried to regulate her breathing… again. She'd been doing that quite a bit since she got that letter. She was here now, feeling the same sense of knee weakness, but this time falling was just not an option. That would attract attention of the bad kind. Putting on her best resolve face, she reached forward to grab hold of the door to enter. She was humbled at this grand place-of-learning. This was a stepping-stone, and important stop along the way.

TO JAPAN!

_Okay. Breathe – In. Out. There will be no more screaming in your head, Rosenberg._

_The door's not going to open by itself. Oh wait; there are people, 'other' type people - lots of people: hugging people with families. There's hugging. I wish I had hugging. I am alone; I am really all alone. _

_Boy the air smells different here, crisper and kinda moist and there's steam on the windows – what's that about? _

Oh my gosh, snow, it's going to snow. I've never been out of California, how am I gonna do snow? We're talking serious snowage here. And what am I supposed to do if it snows in Japan? I'll have to walk in snow. I can just see me now knocking on doors and shivering, my teeth all chattering and I'll be all trying to talk in Japanese. Yeah, this is gonna be just great. I wonder if I'll babble in Japanese too, 'cause that would really be something.

_Okay. Suck it up Will. Pick up your bags and get on with it. _

_Resolve on. _

_I'm going in. _

She got to the counter after waiting in line for a time and collected her welcome kit:

_Room assignment, check; _

_Little white handbook, check; _

_Nametag, check. _

_Hey, look at that. _She looked down at the small black and white nameplate in her hand. She recognized her name, but everything else, not so much. _It's in Japanese._ As she turned to leave the grand entry area, she heard singing:

"Line upon Line….

Each hour… wisdom"

It was the sweetest sound, a voice among the throng of murmuring voices. She caught just bits of the song, but it was enough to grab her attention.

It was only a few stanzas, pieces of the melody but it was as if someone had reached out and plucked a harp string in her heart. She could barely see through the crowd but there seemed to be great joy radiating from the girl.

"…patient, we shall see…

fit together in harmony…"

_Geepers, Look at her. She is so graceful. It looks like she's just floating. _She took stock of her surroundings. No one else seemed to notice the blonde. _I swear I can feel her. And what's that song? It seems … so … familiar. Okay. I am so not gonna stalk some stranger. _She continued walking in the direction behind the other girl though. _It's just a coincidence._

_I wonder where she's going. Wouldn't that be weird if she was going to Japan too? She could be my companion. That would be cool. Right, like that would happen. "_Pffft," the sound escaped her lips before she could stop it. She smirked and laughed at herself.

She continued walking, following the little map in her hand. She lost sight of the girl for a time, so she dismissed her earlier musings and continued toward her future dorm room.

"It's just two months for heaven's sake." She whispered to the walls. _Like of all the people here she would be paired up with me and I'd pick her out of a crowd of two hundred people sight (well face) unseen. _

_Riiiiight_. She rolled her eyes at herself again.

She climbed up the stairs and headed down the hall, taking notice of the couches and bathroom areas in the middle of all the line of rooms. Laundry room was downstairs; some vending machines sat in the corner. After traveling down the wrong hallway, she finally located her dorm room at the end of the hall. _Okay, make a note; don't turn left again when you come up the stairs, right and then straight. I've gotta remember that. _

'_Choose the right_…' the children's church song filled her mind: _Oh, the irony_.

As she passed by the doors along the hallway, it was clear where others were headed.

There were signs on all the doors to welcome the new arrivals – Hermana Bryce. Hermana Sanders – red, green, and white stripes - colors of Mexico. Sorella Johnson, Sorella Campbell – more red, green and white stripes. _Sorella, huh. Like Cruella? I'm thinking … not. _Some of the words she didn't even want to try to pronounce. _Schwester -_ _that must be German. This is so cool. Oh, now that's just funny – look at that one: Schwester Sanchez and Schwester Wall. Maybe I'm warped, but I just think that's funny. _

_Oh, just red and white: Sister Jones and Sister Couch. They're going to Canada. C. eh. N. eh. D. eh. She_ laughed to herself as she remembered the old joke of how Canadians came up with the name for their country by pulling out the three letters from a hat.

Those headed to Japan were obvious – red round circle cutouts against a white background each with names on themShe read the names silently until she finally came to the end of the hall: Smith Shimai, Kitchen Shimai, and Rosenberg Shimai.

_Oh, here it is, yeah me!_

_I wonder why that's at the end. _

_Huh. _

"_Okay, now I really don't know the language yet, what with the so not being able to study in the three weeks prior to this moment, but even I know that they won't be able to pronounce Rosenberg. _

_And "Willow" that's gonna sound like the Jetson's dog, Astro, or Scooby Doo or something. _She chuckled at the thought sounding it out in her head: _"Ri-roh" or would it be Reeroh? Rie rowt roh. _A giggle escaped.

_Gosh, stop it Rosenberg,_ as she tried out the sound of formality of her last name in her head. _You're supposed to be all grown up, why can't you be a grown up? You're supposed to be all serious and spiritual here. They'll probably call me Sister Little Tree or Red or something – I should have at least looked that up. _

She opened the door, and walked in taking a quick look around. There were four bunks in the room; it was smaller than she thought it was going to be. Two of the bunks were already claimed. There were two other girls in the room chit chatting – a tall brunette with wild but sculptured hair-sprayed hair and a frumpy blonde in flats and a skirt and plain blouse. She gave a little waive shy smile and a nod: "Hey."

"Hi," 'Frumpy' said. "I'm Smith Shimai and this is Kitchen Shimai.

"Hey" she repeated.

"So (a pause) where are you from?" Smith Shimai continued.

"California" Yup, Sunnydale, SunnyD that's where I'm from, never been anywhere else," she cursed herself for babbling already. _Shut up and smile_.

The shorter girl held her hand out in greeting which Willow accepted. Kitchen stood behind and gracefully nodded her own hello; she smiled in sympathy or possibly amusement.

"Where are you going?" _Oh, so many questions. "Frumpy" is a Chatty Cathy. Maybe Kitchen is a mute. Okay stop that! Happy thoughts, Will. Happy, loving Godly, thoughts. _

"Kobe" she answered nodding back to question theirs. The internal babble was starting to distract her so she tried to focus a bit more.

Kitchen was going to Kobe too and Smith was headed for Sapporo. Sapporo was really cold and Willow counted her blessings that her snow would only be seasonal if she was stationed near Kobe.

She learned Smith Shimai was from California as well, Sacramento or Oakland or somewhere north of Sunnydale. She just couldn't seem to pay too much attention being all excited, nervous and overwhelmed from it all.

Kitchen Shimai was from Utah. She found it odd that she remembered so many more details about the taller girl, but her demeanor seemed so much more…"pleasant" … than the blonde's.

"Well we have about a half an hour before we have to leave, so we should probably get settled, figure out where we're supposed to go, and get our bearings." _OKAY...I've been here like five minutes and this chick is starting to bug me. This is like my first test, right? _She asked internally_. Get along with "Frumpy?" _

"Okay" _takes charge girl _she silently added.

"That's fine" _I'm all with the finey McFine_ _fine. I can be 'follow along and don't make waves' girl._ "I'll be ready in a few."

_Okay Will, get with the program._ _I need to stop being unkind: no "Frumpy," "Sister Frumpy" or "Chatty Cathy-speak in your head. _Willow berated herself for her negative feelings towards Sister Smith, but she couldn't seem to help herself_. I have to focus here. Help me focus. These are servants of God. They deserve my respect; I have to earn their respect and I can't do it if I'm all "evil girl, Dark Willow." _

She went to the far right bunk in the back, threw her huge suitcase on the bed, and looked around to place getting situated. There was a tiny desk for her books, which she pulled out of her bag and placed on the top. In the drawer, she placed her multicolored highlighters and pencils, and started unpacking her smooshed clothing. She hung up her conservative looking skirts and blouses. That's what the letter said, that's what she bought: gray, black, and dark colored coordinates.

As she looked at the clothing hanging in the small closet, she took a moment to reflect - they represented how much she'd changed. Two years ago, she didn't even own a dress or skirt. Then she joined The Church and that changed too.

Although these new outfits certainly didn't fit her former wardrobe, she pretty much only had a few skirts and dresses she alternated over the month of Sunday services and other weekend or special events she attended. She tended toward the brighter colors, which were fine at social gatherings, like the Stake Dances for the young adults or Sunday evening devotionals.

Dances were so not her thing, but The Church had them and it was important that the young adults attended so they could mingle with other church members. She figured out early on that these functions promoted interfaith dating. Faith and family were the two most important aspects of her new life, and she intended to embrace the teachings and join the faithful – it just was too bad that dances were the way the Church leaders thought they should do that.

She went to a few of them trying to put off the inevitable awkwardness of never being asked to dance. If she did dance then it was all with the getting hot and uncomfortable in heat of the gym. It was just like high school dances; only the boys seemed more polite when they ignored her. Good thing comfy shoes were okay. She figured the lack of attention meant Heavenly Father had another task for her to do, so she prepared – for this.

As she was finishing up with the whole organization thing, Smith Shimai spoke up announcing their schedule: Orientation, dinner, language class, a quick branch meeting, personal study, and then bedtime. Then tomorrow starting six am, gym, breakfast, language, lunch, language, dinner, language, personal study and bed. _Rinse and repeat for fifty-nine more days. _

Kitchen Shimai finally spoke: "I guess we're really doing this." It was a simple statement of fact, but Willow wondered if behind the perfect peaceful exterior she was just as nervous too.

They headed out to the main hall for orientation. Willow glanced around at the wall of dark pants, white shirts, and ties. She chuckled at how much easier the wardrobe was for the guys. Three or five white shirts, two or three pair of pants and four ties and you're set for the week – as long as you don't sweat too much - a bunch of black socks, and a good sturdy pair of shoes.

They didn't have to worry about runs in nylons, tights for cold weather or difficulty finding the perfect coat to wear to worry about. That had been a huge challenge. It wasn't cold enough in Sunnydale, California to find an all-purpose coat for snow – especially in such a short time. All she had was mom's ugly coat. And, did it go with those conservative coordinates? Heck no. It was brown. At least it looked ok with her flaming red hair.

The three walked outside, across the concrete walkway back over toward the main hall where the large meeting rooms were located. People from all over the world gathered here in preparation for their assignments. Young boys were nineteen years old and the girls had to be at least twenty-one. As they walked, Willow thought back to her first day in high school. It was a lot like this. She had hated high school. Well, not the school part, mostly the people part. She sighed and continued walking in silence. This was not like high school, though; these kids had purpose.

_Whoa - deja vu_. Willow shook her head and shuttered. _That's just weird. _She took a deep breath and turned around feeling as if she had just done the same thing not too long before. The moment seemed so familiar. Willow thought. She heard. Yeah. It was almost in a whisper but she definitely heard it: that song again. She searched among the strangers toward the voice.

"Line upon line…"

That's when she saw her. Green eyes met sparkling blue. The electricity in the air was palpable. She felt as though her heart fell out of her shoes.

Then there it was the panic.

_Holy cow, why now?_


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 – ORIENTATION (Day 1-Thursday, November 8, 1984) 

They say when you go to the MTC that it is the most spiritual place on earth, but it is also a place with the greatest temptations. For her if was at that moment her worlds collided. The old faced off with the new. Her past hurled back at her like a hurricane force wind; smacked her right in the face and sucked her breath away all at the same time.

_Whoa._

_She's _

_Beautiful. _

_Stop it. Don't even think it. _

The girls settled in their seats for orientation. She was close enough to the blonde to occasionally glance over and watch her as she listened. Willow was a little too distracted to listen intently to the speakers, but she caught bits of pieces of the speaker's words.

"Follow the rules, do your studies, say your prayers and God will bless you. Stay with your companion. Go to bed on time. "P-day" is the day you may prepare for the week. You get four hours off to do your laundry, attend the temple, write letters to family, and go to the mall or whatever before you will need to be back to your scheduled classes. In your letters and your journal, keep your heart open and bear witness to the truth and share your testimony."

Each testimonial was the same. Follow the rules. They will help you. Be disciplined. What you learn here and on your missions will set the course of the rest of your life.

_Ok, this is all in the little white handbook. _

As she caught herself glancing over toward the blonde again who sat down the row from them, her mind traveled to her friends back home, her preparation for her mission.

Before joining the Mormon Church a year earlier, Willow had struggled with loneliness and desperation. Being Jewish, and then born again Christian, she struggled with her feelings toward other girls knowing that it was wrong to have those thoughts. At least that was what she had been taught to believe. Those feelings were of the devil. They were wrong. She was cursed. And she truly believed there had to be a way to fix it.

The Mormon faith had given her a new way to look at her orientation issues. It would still be hard to rise above, but it gave her some context for why she felt the way she did. Instead of her sexual preference being a curse, it had been her choice.

The ideology was new and different for her. The Latter Day Saints believed in a pre-earthly existence where as spirit children of God, each person made certain choices before coming to earth. Family, friends, and life situations were part of a grand plan, which she participated in selecting. People she knew there could become family, friends, or associates here. Her choices would lead her to find her best possible spiritual growth during her time on earth.

Being gay was something she could overcome. Those were the teachings she clung to that helped her through each day. The last year, well year and a half actually, had changed her so radically from whom she was to who she thought she might become.

Suddenly the meeting was breaking up. Hundreds of men and women joined in song. Then there was a rush of people toward the doors. As the mass of blue and black suits moved around her, Willow lost track of the Blonde. She fought the urge to stand on a chair and look for her.

Kitchen Shimai and Smith Shimai nodded toward the doors with a quick and silent suggestion to "move" or be trampled. Willow followed behind the other two. Obliviously, it didn't do any good to stand in the way of progress and clearly, these lads knew where to go. _Follow the crowd._

When they finally filed out of the meeting room into the hall, the crowd had thinned and Willow took her bearings.

"Hey. There are some sisters!" Smith Shimai suddenly spoke. She took the lead and headed in their direction.

Grossly outnumbered, by like twenty to one, it was a natural instinct to look for other Sisters. They had a special bond. Willow didn't really see where they were going, just followed the other girls. When they stopped, Willow stepped to the side to meet the group to whom Smith and Kitchen had directed her.

Standing in front of her was this gorgeous girl. The light seemed to sparkle right out of her eyes. The contours of her face were barely noticeable against her essence like a spiritual presence. Willow felt like she was looking past all the girl's features directly into her soul.

The feelings surrounding this moment were undeniable. They alone were inside a bubble charged with the very essence of God. It was powerful. It was an awakening. In the midst of all this unfamiliar and uncertainty Willow suddenly felt a profound sense of peace. She felt like she'd come home.

Glancing down at her nametag Willow saw the familiar characters scrawled in the black and white print: Maclay Shimai.

Willow mustered every ounce of courage, took a small breath, exhaled, and asked, "Which Mission?"

"Kobe."

Her voice was like a song, rich and melodic.

"Me too," _Oh gosh, did I just squeak? That's so not good._

Maclay Shimai gently lifted her arm in gesture and rolled her wrist toward two other sisters standing nearby. "These are my companions: Conley Shimai she's going to Kobe and Colson Shimai she's going to Tokyo."

"Huh, It's weird they put us in groups of three instead of twosies, not that I mind my companions, they're nice and everything, although I don't really know that much about them since I just met them and all, but it's just weird cause there's usually just twos. That's the way it's just done, isn't it? I mean, not that I'm doubting that it's not the right thing, it's just different I guess, and oh, I'm babbling aren't I and I do that sometimes when I 'm nervous, not that I'm nervous of you, cause why would I be nervous, you seem so nice and I'll just stop now." She trailed off.

Taking a breath Willow looked up at the amused face before her. _Oh, that's so not good. Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

Conley Shimai came in closer to the two who had seemed to be deep in conversation, "Heywe'reheadedtothecafeteriawannajoinusfordinner?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Willow looked puzzled toward the brunette.

"Cafeteria. Dinner." Maclay explained. "She's from Ohio. Apparently we hear too slowly." She tweaked a conspiratorial grin, grabbed the stunned redhead by the arm, who, in return, nodded toward her companions Smith and Kitchen to come along with them and they headed down the hall toward the dining area.

There was a long line heading out down the hall so the six girls stood together getting to know one another. They tried not to be all clumpy, since there were six of them and the line seemed more snaky then bunchy.

As they waited their turn in line, which was finally moving slowly thank goodness, the girls ended up in groups of two standing together. It seemed each of the pairs were natural fits.

Willow was nervous. She never thought she was any good at small talk. She dreaded the infamous Willow babble and always worried she would say the wrong thing. It was easier to be silent than take the risk.

Just standing there was a little unsettling too and Willow quietly wished she could at least sit and play with her food and look around. She didn't have the luxury of pockets in the skirt she was wearing. That was what she normally would do. Hide her sweaty palms. She could also conceal her nervous fidgets. However, there she was, in line, with this young woman. She took a breath and looked up. Maclay draped her hair a little over her eyes, but she was looking at Willow.

Maclay seemed equally uneasy, although in a different way. Willow had noticed that her movements were graceful yet exaggerated a little, as if she wanted the space around her a bit larger. Willow recognized it for what it was; a way to keep her distance, plus, maybe it was a little excitement. She seemed now to be less animated, more settled.

They stood in comfortable silence for a while and finally made it to the food. After loading up their trays they made their way to one of the long tables so the six could all sit together to enjoy their first of many meals together.

Some of the braver girls grabbed chopsticks and were getting used to the feel of them. Willow, being the overachiever, naturally picked the chopsticks but realized too late that her vegetable selection was going to be problematic: peas and carrots.

Willow had heard that sister missionaries often gained weight in the Missionary Training Center, but now, she was wondering if she'd be able to ever eat again.

"How am I supposed to cut this?" She poked at a slice of her roast beef.

"You have to pick it up and chew it while you hold it." Maclay explained.

"What about this?" she pointed with her chopsticks toward the lump of potatoes and gravy on her plate.

"Scoop and shovel."

"Okay, now you're just making fun of me."

"No, I'm not. Here, let me show you." Maclay took Willow's chopsticks from her. "First, think of the chopsticks like an extension of your first and second fingers. If all you had to eat with were your hands and those were your only clean fingers, what would you do with the potatoes?"

"Scoop and suck on my fingers." Willow felt a bit sheepish, but tried to hide it. "The veggies are too hard. It's like that dumb game with the metal ball, the two rods attached at the one end, and you have to separate the rods and move the ball up toward you and keep the ball from falling. My peas are running away from me and the carrots, they mock me."

_She's smiling at me. _

"What about the beef? I don't think the beef is mocking you. I think it likes you and wants you to enjoy it. It's just waiting for you to figure out how."

_Oh God, I mean gosh._

"Okay Miss Smarty pants. Show me."

Maclay easily showed Willow the secret of holding the chopsticks. "Now, you'll have to practice to get really good at it, and it's gonna take a little time, so give yourself a break, okay? I don't think the carrots are mocking you. They're square so start with them. You might get a little thumb cramp after a while, but you'll get good at it. I promise."

"I can't just stab them?"

"No, then the peas would be upset."

"I wish I could pick up my plate."

"When we get there, you'll be able to, but for now, just practice and no cheating. There will be no poking the meat, no licking the potatoes and no sucking up the peas.

"How do you know all this stuff, you're not really Japanese are you? 'Cause you don't look Japanese. I don't think Japanese people have beautiful blue eyes like yours." _Eeep, don't say that. Oops, too late._

"My brother Donnie had a friend who served his mission in Japan. He was in a RM group after he got home and when I got my calling, they introduced me to some of the people there. One of the girls kinda took me under her wing and told me what to expect and how to eat and stuff."

"First, cool. Second, RM?" Willow was still struggling with her peas chasing them around her plate with the chopsticks.

"Return Missionaries." Maclay quietly watched as Willow struggled with her peas. "You really haven't been a member long. When did you convert?"

"It was just a year ago. I knew some Mormons in High School and when I reconnected after not seeing them for a few years, I felt at the time that it was an answer to prayer. I had been seeking direction and well, it's a long story. I don't want to bore you."

"No, it's okay, I like these stories, It's why we're here, right? To find other people who are searching for something and teach them the truths of the Gospel."

"Yeah, I guess that's right, but right now, I want to hear about you since, well, I'm kinda hungry and it's gonna take me awhile to coax this food in my mouth. Why don't you tell me what made you decide to come here, while I attempt to apply your scoop and shovel method with my potatoes."

The girls continued their banter for the next half hour joking, laughing, and enjoying each other's company.

"You know," Maclay started again after a brief pause between them, "today is the last day we can speak English."

"What?" Willow nearly choked on her potatoes.

"Yeah, that's what I heard. We have to start using the stuff we learn right away."

Willow furrowed her brow, "But what if we don't know the words and stuff?"

"I guess we'll have to make do," Maclay replied sweetly.

Willow's mind raced ahead, and she wished she had had more time, studied more, and picked up one of those language tapes. There just hadn't been time. She had to go to the temple, get supplies and outfits. She grew quiet as she remembered all the torturous hours of shopping. Then that last week with all the emotional goodbyes: the functions, the farewell service for her, and the open house after where her friends and family came for one last night to say so long. Now she wasn't going to be able to talk to anyone until she learned how to speak Japanese.

A look of horror must have crossed her face as she glanced around at her companions to her left, across the table to the two girls with the blonde, and then right at Maclay. When she gazed into the last pair of eyes, she knew her thoughts had betrayed her fears.

_I won't be able to talk to her!_

Maclay seemed to read her. Maybe she'd figured out the solution already. She smiled again at Willow.

"We only have to use the words we know."." The rest we'll make do with, or there's the tried and true method of pointing and pantomime or "other" forms of language."

_Did she just wink at me?_

The redhead ducked her head in acknowledgment. She'd over-reacted and the blonde had caught her. But it seemed Okay. _There's that calm again. Wow. _

_This is gonna be a long 60 days. _


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3 - LANGUAGE 101 (Day 1-Thursday, November 8, 1984) 

Next stop for the gang was the first of many scheduled language classes. The sisters and elders filed in selecting seats, which were situated in a semi circle. Each desk had a large textbook, Japanese Hymnal and English/Japanese Dictionary placed on it. At the front of the small room, the chalkboard had the words: "Elder Jones" neatly printed on it. Shortly after the group settled in a young man, probably mid twenties arrived and stood in front of the young men and women.

Konbanwa. Yoroshikuonegaishimasuwatakushinonamaewajonzuchorodesu"

_Oh no, it's just like Conley's speed speak. _

Good evening. My name is Elder Jones.

_Wait, what? All that was just that? Oh no! _

WatakushiwaanatonoNihongosenseidesu

I am your Japanese language teacher.

Hajimeru

Let's begin

_Ok that one seemed a little shorter. _

Hamm Choro (looking at an Elder to his left in the circular arch of students)

Anatawainotte kudasaimasu ka?

_Choro, that's what the guys are called – that's Elder! Woo hoo! _

Elder Hamm, will you lead us in a prayer?

After the short prayer, Jones had everyone opened their books to the first page. _Oh good, at least it's in English, and the pictures are cute. I can do this. _

"Japanese is a difficult language."

_No, don't say that. _Willow continued to listen but looked ahead a bit in the textbook.

"I'm not going to lie to you, but if you study hard, apply yourself, and use the things we teach you here with consistency you will be prepared when you leave to serve your Heavenly Father in sharing the gospel with those you meet."

Jones words barely registered as she suddenly fixed her eyes upon the next page she came to.

**Hiragana: ****http://www.aoianime.hu/images/japan/hiragana.png**

Willow found herself staring at the Japanese alphabet and froze. _I'm gonna have to learn that? And that's the easy stuff. Oi vey. Focus Willow; don't want to miss anything important. _

Jones continued. "Nihongo only has 107 syllables. English has over 2000. Pronunciation is the easy part. You won't run into rules like "I" before "E" except after "C" and neighbor and weigh or different spellings for the same sounding word, like see and sea, made or maid, new, knew and gnu.

"There are different types of Japanese writing: Kanji, Katakana, and Hiragana. There are several thousand Kanji which represent ideas, Katakana is the block lettering which is normally used to write out foreign words, and what you will be learning here is Hiragana."

_I'm gonna need some serious self butt kicking to get me through this. I'm already exhausted and I've only been here five minutes. _

She looked around the room at the studious faces. Six Elders: Hamm, Stevens, Brooks, and Michaels sat to the right of Smith and Kitchen, to her left, Gardner and Frye. These and the other new group, Maclay's group, were her study buddies. They would sink or swim together, well not really "together" together, but it was gonna be really hard not talking to people if they didn't learn stuff at the same pace.

"AAH EEEE OOOO EH OH" – The sets of companions sat together practicing their newly acquired skills. Willow was amused by the pneumonic memory aids – "mu" looked like a cow; "chi" a cheerleader, "mo" you have to catch mo fish on your hook. Those would be the only ones she really remembered when it was time to test her skills.

While the others were still practicing their writing skills, her mind wandered back to her early thoughts of Scoobie Doo when she'd been called to Japan.

Willow kept looking at the chart for the "B" sound.

Clearly "Willow" was not going to be as hard as Rosenberg. _I knew they didn't have any "L"s. But come on "B" there's got to be a "B." I guess Sister Little Tree or Red is what I'll be. Oh, I can look it up now._ She thumbed over to the appendix, the glossary, the vocabulary – no red.

_Oh, colors, here it is page 551. Apparently, it's not that important. Let's see: weather, shopping – argh don't remind me. Okay, colors: alphabetical would be nice, ok: akai. That's easy I can remember that. Huh, look at that, green is a noun – midori, isn't that like alcohol or something. Blue is just a (dv) like the others. Is that like a descriptive verb? What, they couldn't say adjective. Oh. Oops. Missing, class. Stop it._

"In Japanese there are not vowels and consonants per se there are syllables. The chart is organized for you by sounds and consonants, but there are variations. You will see the soft pronunciation of these syllables is marked by two hash marks that look sort of like right quotes. The little round circle near the symbol is another variant.

"Generally, when converting gaijin (foreign) names to Japanese, the block lettering is used. If your name ends in a consonant, or you have two consonant sounds together, you would add a soft "u" to your name. Sister Smith, your name will be pronounced "Sumisu" Shimai. Sister Rosenberg, you'll be Rozenbagu Shimai."

_Ro zen ba gu_. _Hey, that's not so bad, but I'm starting to get hungry. At least they can pronounce me. _

"Sister Kitchen, your name will be a little more difficult since there really is not "che" sound. I would recommend you introduce yourself as Kichin Shimai rather than Kitsun. Since many of the words that start Kitsu are associated with strength and not considered very feminine attributes. For example, Kitsui means strong or intense, kitsuen is tobacco, kitsume is a fox or vixen. You don't want to start out a conversation introducing yourself as Sister Vixen by accident. It might damage that first impression."

By the end of class, Willow had sort of learned the Hiragana characters, and how to sound out the alphabet. But she had to cheat a little to get them. She even tried to sing the hymn with the group in the hallway after language class ended. Naturally, the hymnbook was in Hiragana. She wasn't that great of a singer, but the Bible said make a joyful noise unto the Lord and that's just what she did. Orientation was the last time she would sing in English for quite some time.

The hymn sounded more like a mass mumbles and nonsense-but at least it was pretty. She heard a familiar voice in the group and glanced furtively over toward the other sisters in the crowd at the end of the hall. She saw the smile; she saw the joy in her face while she sang and the gleam in the eyes of her newfound friend. Her heart melted.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4 – PILLOW TALK (Day 1-Thursday, November 8, 1984) 

The girls headed back to their respective dorms. They had an hour before lights out to read, study, and get ready for bed. They were all exhausted after the day's events but a little socializing seemed in order. After all, there were 59 more days to go before they would be traveling to their various destinations. Party at Conley's was definitely the right call.

The rules of an LDS missionary are clear: the only time a sister or elder is alone is in the bathroom, the shower or in their dreams. Other than that, it's all companion, all the time. It's always hard when three are "paired" especially for the one who might not agree. In this case, it was unanimous. They would change into their comfy wear and head out. Kitchen, Smith and Rosenberg Shimai went down the hall to their first of many parties in the other sister's room. At least tonight, they didn't know enough Japanese to hinder their conversation.

The girls sat around talking and getting to know one another. They learned more about each other's backgrounds and interests. Again, the group seemed to naturally pair together, Conley and Colson seemed to share similar family backgrounds as did Kitchen and Smith. Colson and Conley discussed their church callings prior to coming to Provo. Kitchen and Smith talked about how cute Elder Jones was as well as their boyfriends back home. Colson and Conley both had worked before coming on their missions and the other two had attended different universities in Utah.

Willow tried to keep up with their conversations, but found she had little interest or connection with the lives of the four others. She felt like she was watching a heated ping-pong match instead of enjoying and participating in fellowship. She started feeling alone. Although she was genuinely amused by the number of times everyone seemed to say "what" whenever Conley spoke. She was currently at fifteen.

She was aware of the silent blonde beside her and had more than once caught her smirking as well. She looked over the Maclay sitting to her right. Maclay smiled shyly and quietly said, "How many did you get so far?"

Willow looked at her in amazement. She wasn't sure if she was really referring to her current "what" count, but it was worth the risk she decided. One word might not be hard to explain if she was off base. "Fifteen?"

Maclay giggled, "I was counting too. I think I m-missed one." She dropped her head a little hiding behind her hair again. "I'm sorry; I guess I'm just not feeling all Chatty Cathy today."

It was Willow's turn to laugh. _She uses that term too. _

"That's ok; I'm not Miss Chatty Cathy either. In fact, I much prefer watching people in public places than being the life of the party. I'm more comfortable in a library or bookstore than at dances. I'd rather sit out under the stars than go to the beach, and I'm from California. Hello, not everyone goes to the beach every day. I mean, I just look out a window on a sunny day and my freckles get freckles. Oh, I'm exaggerating a little. But do you get it at all?"

Maclay looked intently at her. "Yes. I really do. Hey, you might be able to help me. It seems like you're kind of a scripture geek, oh, um, n-no offence."

"Oh no, I can totally help you, what do you need?" Willow instantly sprang into research mode.

This was her favorite pastime. It had been an all-consuming passion after joining The Church. She felt that she had something to prove, mostly to herself. She had studied night and day to keep up with the kids who had grown up doing scripture chases and memorizing passages. There were contests for the seminary students - every day before school when the kids got to high school they attended classes. She'd missed all of that training being a recent addition to the rolls of The Church.

"Well I've been thinking about that parable, the one where there's the l-lights. I-I wanted to read through it, but I can't seem to find the one I was looking for."

Willow thought for a moment, "You mean the one where we are the lights? There are several of those."

Maclay got up, reverently grabbed her scriptures, and brought them over from her desk. She carefully handed them to Willow and looked at her with expectation. Willow began scanning over the pristine pages looking for the passage she thought the blonde wanted. After a few moments, she started feeling frustrated. _ Come on, come on, I'm good at this._ She took a breath.

"What's wrong? Maclay asked quietly.

"I know what I'm looking for but I can't find it in yours. In mine, I have this color coding system to keep things straight when I read them, you know, so I can find them again."

Maclay raised her eyebrow at her new friend. "That's, um, interesting." She trailed off.

Willow felt a little defensive, but she knew her system worked for her. Too many times just like this one, she would be looking for something in another set of scriptures and just couldn't find her way. "Okay, well I bet I can find what you're looking for in just a few minutes if I had mine."

"That's a bet I'll take then. What do I win if you can't?"

"Oh, you're so brave; you know we don't gamble so you've got nothing to lose." Willow retorted back.

"Nice try." Maclay was in full throttle now. "It's not gambling if there's no risk and there's no money involved. And this is just for personal satisfaction so it doesn't count. But if you want to race, then that would be ok with me. I'll even let you win if you want."

"Oh yeah, right. Like, you're probably just tricking me to get me alone in my room. No, that's not what I meant. You probably already know where it is and you're checking me out. No, that didn't come out right either." (Huge cleansing breath) "Oh, let's just go get my books and we'll look together, ok?" _I just have to talk don't I? How far into that hole was she gonna let me get. I think she actually knew I'd babble at her. And oh, with the "alone in my room" and checking me out," like she'd do that. Uh oh, she's smiling at me again. _

Maclay seemed to sense her panic once more. "It's okay. I think I know what you meant. Yes, let's take a break from the Chatty Cathys and I can see how well you do the research thing. And we can discuss the little flamey candle passage."

"We'll be back in a few okay guys?" Maclay announced. The other girls just nodded at them.

Willow handed Maclay's scriptures back to her. "Well they probably won't even miss us."

A few minutes later the girls were sitting facing each other on the extra bunk with their books set between them. Willow had easily found four references referring to the "light" that Maclay was interested in.

"You know it's interesting. Maclay started after a moment. "Everything that we believe in is based on what we know from these books. Now we're going to another country to explain in a different language all the things we believe in. I can barely do that in English sometimes.

"Some of the words that we know and use every day to describe things don't even exist there. We don't have shared experiences to draw upon. We don't listen to the same music or watch the same TV shows. We can't draw analogies or use references that are uniquely ours as Americans. It's just kind of weird you know if you think about it.

"It's like trying to describe a duck to someone who's never even seen a bird. We depend on language so much and now we won't even have that. Our basic religious attitudes are very different from theirs too.

"I was just sitting there thinking about all of us. We are so diverse. I was watching the six of us and we were not able to communicate that well even with English in common. Colson's accent is easier to get than Conley's speed speak."

"Ha. That's what I called it too. Well, in my head, not to her face, 'cause that would be rude, but yeah." _Wow I really like this girl._ She continued, "But what does the light passage have to do with that – because I'm starting to get that you think much deeper and made some connection there?"

"Yeah, actually," Maclay laughed a little. "I was."

Willow waited.

_Okay, don't interrupt her, let her lead the way. And for goodness sake don't babble. _Willow focused her positive energies toward the girl.

Willow looked deep into her eyes willing her to say what was in her heart.

"I was thinking about you." Maclay blushed. She took a cleansing breath.

"I was thinking that you and I seemed like a better match and I wondered why we weren't put together for our time here. I felt like I knew you the minute I saw you, like we were supposed to meet here and be together."

There was a long pause as both the girls took in the statement.

"I feel like you and I have some kind of connection, like together we're brighter." Maclay let the words sink in before she continued. "I sense that we share some other things too, and maybe that's why we're not companions."

Willow's jaw dropped. She closed her mouth, but it fell open again. _What is she saying to me? _She tried to decipher each word Maclay had just said to her. _Is she saying it would not be "safe" for us to be together, that we wouldn't be good study-buddies, that we are being punished – no that's not it. _

"I…" Willow was interrupted as the door swung open. Kitchen and Smith returned from their night out. They were laughing.

Naturally, Smith spoke. "Okay ladies, time for bed. Let's get Maclay Shimai home to her companions and get to bed. Six o'clock is going to roll around here really quick and we have to be in gym. What time to you want us to pick you up?" She said now looking directly at Maclay. "Conley and Colsen Shimai said they were gonna sleep in so it's just the four of us."

_Noooo! I want to sleep in too. _Willow yelled in her head_. I want to talk to Maclay. I'm not even tired now; my brain is all awake. I need to figure this out – what did she mean we share some things, what things? I really need to talk to Maclay. _

On the way back to Maclay's dorm room, Kitchen and Smith retold what they had missed. They said the party had to break up after Conley starting whistling church songs through her nose. They were still laughing as the returned without the blonde.

As Willow prepared for bed, she went through the remaining items on her internal checklist.

_Okay. Make it through today, check._

_Say my prayers, check._

_Review my vocabulary – coming up._

_Write in journal – oops. _

_Gotta do that before I go to sleep. Okay, good stuff for my kids to read, nothing with doubts, fears, negativity – that means no chatty Cathy, no Frumpy, no thoughts about a certain blonde that is driving me to distraction. She's so cool. I really think she gets me. She's not all pretentious. Kitchen Shimai is very genuine but Smith, it seems like there's something off about her. Maybe it's me. She hasn't really done anything worthy of me not liking her; I just get all eeeh ahhh about her. Her voice just kind of grates me wrong I guess. I can't write that, got to make sure that when I look back at this it's all "of the good."_

_Conley seems super nice – although I don't really get her, but she seems nice. I mean, how can you get someone when you don't understand half of what she says, for example. Colsen, nothing-noteworthy there. And the Elders – okay, it's not all about the people right. _

_Mom says there are three kinds of people: those who talk about people, those who talk about things, and those who talk about ideas. I want to be idea gal. I want to be all with the ideas, all deep thinking and everything. Okay, I'm finally getting tired. I have five minutes before I won't be able to keep my eyes open. I'd better get to the record keeping now. So why am I procrastinating now? Stop it. Write already. _

_Okay, that seems pretty tame, nothing about the warm ticklies I got from Maclay, and how irritated I was at first with Sister Smith. Tomorrow is a new day and Gym class waits. _


	5. Chapter 5

Hello everyone. There are pictures in this story that this format doesn't support.  
There are many more chapters. This site does not allow links. I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

You can find chapter 5 and the rest here by Google search under "latter days lonely nights willownut"


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